Alessandra Ambrosio Faptastic In A Tiny Bikini

What is the name of that thing that Alessandra has on her body? Not the swimsuit, I already know that one. I am talking about that piece of jewelry that is going around her body. I would call it a belly bracelet, but then people would think I am just an idiot who cannot think of the word belt. Now, I may be an idiot, but I can still remember what a belt is, even if I cannot always remember to wear one.

I really hope that Alessandra’s belly bracelet is a real piece of jewelry and not some piece of trash that she got tangled up in. I thought only sea turtles and birds got caught in stuff like that. Aren’t our opposable thumbs supposed to make us immune to these sorts of things?

I know that I have not done a very good job of masking my low class heritage, but mistaking trash for jewelry might take me to an even lower level. And this is coming from a grown man who does not have a bedframe for his mattress. I did not think it was physically possible for me to get any lower.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA