Alec Baldwin Arrested Over Parking Spot Assault

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elliot-wolf - November 7, 2018

I save all of the peace and love I have in my heart for the day my fantasy orgy with invites Jessica Alba, Emma Stone, Kate Beckinsale and friends materializes. That’s the only time I’m spreading around all of the love I have to give. Otherwise I keep that hippie-dippie kind of thinking inside and off of the road. Especially when it comes to some lowlife arse aiming to speed into a parking spot you were clearly waiting for. Some people deserved to get punched in the face for their driving habits. In fact, road rage is one of the few things Russia does right. I can look the other way when it comes to communism and collusion if Putin gave Americans a couple of classes on how to handle someone that stole your parking spot. Someone ship Alec Baldwin a curriculum through customs, he already has experience in the area, and would make the perfect professor.

Actor Alec Baldwin has denied that he "punched anyone over a parking spot" following his Friday arrest on an assault and harassment charges in New York.

Baldwin was charged with misdemeanor assault and harassment after he punched someone during what police officials described as a dispute near his home in New York City's Greenwich Village. Baldwin is expected to appear in court on Nov. 26.

Alec doesn’t exactly deny punching someone, just that he didn’t punch someone over a parking spot. However, TMZ says that Alec might technically be telling the truth. Police sources tell TMZ that Wojciech Cieszowski – the man Alec allegedly hit – told police that Alec hit him with his hand, which would imply more of a slap than a punch.

TMZ also says there is security camera footage of the event. It’s grainy and low-quality, and it does show Alec and Wojciech shoving each other, although it’s unclear if Alec ever hits him. If the two of them were shoving, Alec could argue that it was mutual combat and not assault.

If I was an actor, I’d deny hitting a pedestrian with my fists as well when the only footage available has been recorded with the same camera used to record every Bigfoot sighting. Eight megapixels really isn’t enough to prove if it was really Alec or the Loch Ness monster. If Baldwin sticks to his story he can argue that his opponent was a little touched in the head, just not by Baldwin’s closed fist.

Photo Credit: Alec Baldwin Fistfight from Backgrid USA 

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