‘Adam Sandler’ Tried to Extort Millions from Girl Scouts, Pleads Guilty

Sometimes the internet provides you with a tone poem of such excruciating beauty that you just can't take it. Like, for example, the fact that a man named Adam Sandler just pleaded guilty to trying to extort millions of dollars from the Girl Scouts. A different Adam Sandler than the one you probably know, mind you, but still: Adam Sandler.

There's a lot to digest here. Here goes.

In case you didn't know, there is a fairly well-known homeless man who goes around New York City in an Elmo costume shouting anti-Semitic stuff at people. He's been around for a while, so  it's not a huge deal per se, but...

Then, the man had his name legally changed to Adam Sandler (from the somewhat pedestrian 'Dan Sandler') a few years ago...all because Cambodia deported him for running a website called 'Welcome to the Rape Camp.' Which I'm sure was more entertaining and well-plotted than both Just Go With It or Jack and Jill combined. No, seriously. 

Then it get's weird: homeboy was arrested back in June for trying to extort a couple of million dollars from the Girl Scouts by using his own terrible reputation to discredit the organization. Turns out, Sandler had worked for as a temporary computer programmer for them a few years back. He had planned on picketing events with a sign saying something about how they let freaks like him program stuff for them.

Brilliant plan, until he got caught. And then took the cowards 'plea deal' route. Which is a bummer for those of us who were banking on a protracted trial. One that might have had the other Adam Sandler take the stand. Or have a guy in a Grover costume get cross-examined by a hard-nosed lower-Manhattan DA.

All told, the idea of an Elmo-dressed Anti-Semitic Cambodian Rape Website Extortionist seems like something one conceives in the liminal space where dreams are born. But nope: this is the reality we live in now.

(H/T: AP)