chris-littlechild - July 6, 2012
This upcoming 3DS title is poised to accrue, if I may borrow an esoteric technical term from the financial analysts among us, a shitload of cash for Nintendo. It's rather in keeping with this idea that Mario's coin-purloining nature will come to the fore like never before in New Super Mario Bros 2. The gold-centric mechanics of the new title have been showcased previously, but the latest assortment of screens makes plain just how intrinsic the coin-coveting concept will be to the game.
In the above gallery you'll find our picks of the new screens, including a golden koopa shell propelled across the ground leaving coin-arama in its wake (wantonly spraying them with reckless abandon, much like a small child in the throes of travel sickness on a road trip. "In the bag, Timmy!THE BAG!In the name of Satan's fetid foreskin, I just had the seats cleaned!Where's my ass-caning cane?")
After the jump, you can also behold the farcical abomination that is the preorder bonus for the title.
Nintendolife brings us this image of the offending turdtacular ‘gift.' Their report yesterday gleaned these official words from the comically-oversized novelty N:
‘Ahead of the highly anticipated release of New Super Mario Bros. 2 available on Nintendo 3DS from 17th August, Nintendo is releasing a one-off collectable gold coin case as an exclusive pre-order gift when you pre-order your copy at GAME and gamestation stores. The small case - a replica of Mario's iconic Coins - can hold any number of small objects including the New Super Mario Bros. 2 Nintendo 3DS Game Card itself, definitely a handy accessory if you're always on the move.'
I'll concede, such insignificant bonuses are hardly something to bitch about. The heinous misappropriation of the word ‘handy' is pretty damn mockable nonetheless. I daresay that a case for objects approximately an inch square isn't a travel-necessity as indispensable as a toothbrush or one's electric nutsack-hair trimmers. But it's exclusively U.K-bound thus far, so this ballache and its negligible collectible value isn't much of a factor.
Gallery images courtesy of computerandvideogames.
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