Kelly Brook Bikini Shoot For New Look and Old Hard Happy Feelings

I don’t like lists. I shall fight lists and listicles and superlatives to my dying breath, or until somebody pays me to feel otherwise. I mean, there’s standing on principle and then there’s being able to afford the big drink at the movie theater. Nevertheless, were I forced to make a list of some kind, say, the Top Ten Motorboat Dreamy Girls, you can bet Kelly Brook would appear somewhere on that vaunted top ten.

In her latest pictorial pimping her own bikini fashion line through New Look, Kelly shows you as much qualifications as you’d likely need to see to put her onto your lists as well. In an age of slender ladies, Kelly maintains her curvaceous and bodacious form that the cosmic designer implanted lust for deep within the male DNA. Just something about Kelly makes me want to make many babies to populate this planet. Also, pour honey on her funbags. Hey, it’s my DNA too, I’m adding my own flavors. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: New Look Swimwear

Halle Von and Dakota James Thong Bikini Strip Down On Miami Beach

Hey, even adult film stars need some sun. And they certainly aren’t going to be left behind in the battle for best bodies and booties and boobtastic on the beach in Miami.

Twin mature themed film star hotties Halle Von and Dakota James, not necessarily their Christian born names, poses and preened and stripped down to their thongs on Miami Beach to let the legit ladies know that the professional young gals are throwing their hat into the ring. And what a hat indeed. These brand new face of adult cinema au natural sextastic champs aren’t pretenders to any thong throne. They are barely there bikini’d contenders. Examine their talents and see for yourself. And this is just their off-hours. You should see them at work. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: FameFlyNet

Claudia Romani Bikini Pictures Stiffen Christmas Resolve Across Miami Beach

Winter shminter. That’s what all the hot girls are saying in Miami as best bikini body competition heats up with total disregard for the winter solstice just days away. The weather outside may be frightful in your area, but in Miami, it’s bikini show off time, including the righteous rump of Claudia Romani splashing about in her blue bikini in the warm Souther state waters.

As you know, Claudia’s magical thumper and I are scheduled to be married some time in the coming year. No date certain as there are still some legal obstacles to overcome because of outdate laws. But make no mistake about it, the bridal booty to be is only temping me worse in the interim. I feel like one of those Duggar kids who has to wait for marriage for their first kiss. Only, I will kiss and tell all my tales of savage prurient passions with Claudia’s killer tush. It’s not gentlemanly to brag, but it still feels good. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Splash News

Kendal Lee Schuler Topless Brunette Christmas Present Wonderments from Down Under (Where It’s Summer)


Brunette hot Aussie model Kendal Lee Schuler just posed topless for the photography-party lifestyle magazine Life Without Andy from Down Under. She kind of just made my day. I know so many of you dream of video game consoles or home electronics or Williams-Sonoma kitchen cute equipment (what is wrong with you?) for Christmas. All your Uncle Bill wants for Christmas is his two front teats. Specifically, those delicious funbags on the sextastic likes of Kendal Lee Schuler.

I know I’ve been naughty this year, Santa. It’s kind of my job. But if you could see your way to skipping the lumps of coal this year and stuff Kendal Lee Schuler into my prophylactic stocking, I would be very much obliged. I’m not putting out milk and cookies ever years simply for gratis. Let’s deal. I want Kendal. Name your price, Kris Kringle. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Life Without Andy

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Does Paris Hilton Have Upgraded Funbags?

I don’t know. Bra technology being what it is today, sadly, advanced I suppose, it’s sometimes hard to tell in this pushed up, scrunched up, so-called magic lifting bosom engineering age what is real and what is not real and what is really really not real. That’s so confusing. I mostly just like to watch.

Billionaire Barbie has most definitely been showing off some super bigger cleavage this week in London, venturing out to hotspots in the evening, specifically making brilliant note of her improved bust line. Paris has always been considered the au natural, lithesome model type, but then again, a solid percentage of Tinsel Town darlings have had some augmentation. The streets of downtown Beverly Hills are lined with plastic surgeon’s offices and coffee shops and not everybody drinks coffee. Just saying, there’s more chestal square inches than we’re used to seeing. Not that this is a bad thing. Paris, I’m just happy you’re happy. Enjoy.

Jennifer Lopez Shows Off Her Body for Self Magazine January 2015

Oh, Jennifer Lopez. You never cease to satisfy. Jenny from the Block showed off her gorgeous body in this sexy spread in Self Magazine. I’ve been a fan of J-Lo’s booty ever since I was in High School. I remember when I went to see her in Selena in 1995 and thought, “Sweet mother of buttcheeks, what an arse!” I said, my eyes bugging out of my head like a cartoon wolf. J-Lo’s bare mid-riff is extraordinary. For a woman her age to be keeping it that tight is a rare thing. Especially after popping out a couple of kids and being married to the likes of Marc Anthony. What I do know is that any day that a scantily clad pic of J-Lo comes across my desk is a happy one for ‘ol Jack.

Jen is a sexy lady and I’m a professional sexy lady appreciator so I should know. I’m going to go back to bed now and dream about Jen and Iggy Azalea’s thumpers shaking in that Booty video.

Photo Credit: Self Magazine

Daphne Joy Red Hot Cleavage at Toys For Tots Project Ethos Fashion Show Charity Event

Daphne Joy and her boobs were in the mood to give back at the Toys for Tots Project Ethos Fashion Show charity event. Toys and money are great presents during the holiday season, but ta-tas are the gift that keeps on giving. Daphne was wearing a LOW cut red hot dress that showed off her luscious funbags. Daphne has got some of the most spectacular chest puppies in the boob game today. They are like a pair of ripe honeydew melons but that I want to motorboat rather than eat. It’s important to remember those less fortunate at this time of year, namely those ladies that aren’t as lucky as Daphne to be so well endowed. If Santa really wanted to up his game he’d give out breast implant certificates.

In the meantime, I’m going to ask Santa to bring me more bikini pics of Daphne. Maybe a nip slip. Whatever you can do, Santa.

Photo Credit: GSI / Splash News