Dave threw a New Year's Eve party and didn't invite me? Damn, I thought we were bro's. I've been following his work for so long, I can't believe he would do me like that. I mean, we've never met and he has no idea who I am, but I still expected better from him. For the sake of our relationship I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume my invitation was lost in the mail like so many other invitations over the years. Our postal service really needs to get their acts together.
Throughout my entire academic career not a single party invitation seemed to make it to my mailbox, not even the ones that were sent via email which I also hold USPS responsible for. It is probably for the best, any party that has women like Bella Hadid is not a party I want to be a part of. I prefer my women to be uglier, poorer, and less successful. That way I can actually stand a chance with them. I have already been shot down enough in my life, there is no need to hurt the statistics any further.
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