What you may not understand is that I openly cry like a girl child when I don’t see my favorite sextastic celebrity bodies for any extended period of time. That would be about ten minutes, plus or minus eight. Really, just minus. Being away from the sight of Lisa Opie and her faptastic bikini body, that tight booty of absolute spankable perfection, well, wouldn’t any man break down into an infantile state? She’s my mid-summer’s ice cream cone at the state fair. When that ice cream topples to the ground, I simply can’t be soothed.
Lisa, whatever you’re doing, please do more of it. This is the time when all good women must sacrifice what they can so that those who will not won’t be a complete wet blanket on the gentleman ogling experience. Bless you, Lisa Opie. You’re a fine young lady. Enjoy.