As you Ego-dads will know, children are a barrel of unpredictable funtimes. They’ll drink your beer when you aren’t looking, rip your copy of Jugs and Ammo to shreds and shit on the carpet. Or all three simultaneously. Twice. Before breakfast (not that we’re implying you or your small children have a drink problem).
But hey, it’s all worth it. You get to call them –your name here– Jr, and teach them the noble manly virtues of ogling and scratching your ass on the couch. You can mold your little guy/gal into a tiny you, and hope you don’t screw them up too badly in the process. It’s a magical, fatherly bond-y process, like something from a fruity Disney movie but with more craptacular diapers.
So what the balls, The Sims 4? How could you take that away from us? This week, we saw the entire toddler stage of life ripped from our virtual existences forever. Behold the above slice of weirdly weird weirdery from the game.
Yes indeed, this is how the upcoming title will treat our beloved urchins. One second, they’re a tiny lump in their stroller, the next they’re leaping out of it looking about ten years old. Why not just go the whole hog, and have them emerge as OAPs with huge eff-off Rip Van Winkle beards? It’s all kinds of creepy.