The Weekly WTF: Y’Know, A Lot of Things in Video Games Look Like Wangs

Gah! It's Big Ol' Red Jelly Dick Face!

Eat your heart out, The Sixth Sense. Seeing dead people is one thing, but seeing freaking dicks everywhere is a whole new kind of terrible affliction.

In this charmingly boner-based throwback to 2010, GamesRadar show their journalistic credentials. Their renegade, no effs given, riding-straight-into-the-mouth-of-hell-on-grandma’s-mobility-scooter philosophy. Their willingness to cover the vital issues of our time, which lesser bastards would steer clear of. Issues such as Things in games that look a bit like penises.

Now, the humble danglers have always had a slightly disturbing yet undeniable place in games. If there’s a customization option, you can bet that someone’s tried their darndest to make themselves a dick with it. PS4‘s spangly space shooter Resogun recently added a ship creator, and what happened there? A ream of flying space-gonads firing angry manjuice lasers, that’s what happened.

This presumably says something about society as a whole, but we won’t get all sciencetastic on your asses. Instead, let’s just appreciate the chutzpah this guy needed to have to announce to the Internet that ‘I’ve had a folder named ‘Things in games that look a bit like penises’ on my desktop for quite a while now.’ Check out the contents of said folder here, from Metal Gear Rex’s arm to a pig-dude’s hand that is the spitting image of a bellend.

How can you pass up an offer like that? You damn well can’t.

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