Taylor Swift Legs Out a Win in Shanghai

U.S.-Chinese relations might be strained these days, but that doesn’t mean we’re not sending Taylor Swift, our ambassador of long legs and supremely sentimental catchy pop music, over to Shanghai to dazzle the tweens of the populous nation and perhaps bring us one step closer to a common understand that young girls all over the world have truly horrible taste in music. Or, perhaps more importantly, that grown men all over the world dig a tall girl with long toned legs in shorts, even those silly high waisted ones the pop stars all wear so their booty cracks won’t pop out with all their bending and preening and leg spreading moves.

I don’t know exactly what people see in the music, but I do know you could do much worse than drawing Taylor’s name out of a basket when it comes time to pick your Secret Santa table dancer. Taylor is at least six inches taller than most of her peers, with her half foot of statuesque goodness going entirely into her gams. Now, she might not let you caress those stems until your 73rd date, but if you make it to 72, there’s no way you’re dropping out before that opportunity. Enjoy.

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