Now, I’m not one to completely dismiss this nonsense among the hot celebrity ladies that they have trouble finding dates. I think there is something to be said for guys feeing girls are out of their reach for some reason, and just general environment and bubble, that prevents these sextastic talents from being hit on by decent guys as often as you might believe. So I’m willing to listen to the complaints from the likes of Anna Kendrick about nobody asking her out on a date for about two minutes. It’s at that point I think to myself, wait, what about the 10,000 crayon written letters I’ve sent you through the years asking you to be my bowling partner at the leather and bondage lanes tourney?
Anna Kendrick, just look at you in this Elle magazine spread. I’m not feeling sorry for you. I am feeling rather lusty however. Oh, that gorgeous body and overbite that I just want to feel nibble in awkward pattern across my underserving body. Anna, no more lonely nights for you, let’s make this loofah scrub down relationship happen. I have so many sponges ready to go you would not believe. Up in the air, Anna, that’s my safety word. Enjoy.