With the World Cup coming upon us like a tidal wave of the world's most watched sport, you're certain to see tons of lists of the world's hottest soccer WAGs. I don't like superlative lists, but as a general rule, if you don't see Abigail Clancy on the list, turn away from thine weak-arsed literature. Lingerie model and soccer wife Abbey Clancy is just one peach of a bikini treat, this time flaunting her A-list female form in Maui, a little present to the 50th State of America where I hope she decides to move one day. I happen to know the apartment next to mine is vacant. The tenants made some big fuss about the unyielding sounds of what seemed like felines in great distress coming through their walls and they just up and left. Go figure.
Abigail Clancy, you and I have a date with destiny. Hopefully, in the form of bikini shopping. Unlike most men who get fidgety during shopping, I could watch you try on bikinis and thongs for up to three years without the urge to move. I get catatonic for the sextastic. And Abbey Clancy in a bikini, whoa, baby, I feel a sudden rush of voluntary muscle disablement coming on. Enjoy.