Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavy Goodness at Cannes Fancy Pants Party

My yacht was not quite ready to set sail this year for Cannes, so I had to leave the big parties of the season up to my fellow rich men of the sea like Roberto Cavalli, who has the added advantage of having the world’s hottest models on speed dial on his phone. I have Pizza Hut. We are not super dissimilar. Still, when Cavalli calls, you come. And you look amazing, as did Alessandra Ambrosio the minute she stepped onto the designer’s yacht in her low cut cleavetastic gown. I’m guessing he made it or something.

Alessandra Ambrosio has looked wicked crazy MILFtastic for as long as I can remember. Even when she’s forced to put on clothes as for this upscale yacht party, she still manages to compel men to take cold showers for fear of public uncomfortability. Alessandra, Cannes 2015 I’m expecting you in something even more revealing when the S.S. Egotastic pulls into dock. Look for the desperate guy in a dinghy rowing his little heart out for you. Enjoy.

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