Modern Family star Sofia Vergara looks as amazing as she always in the May issue of Women’s Health Magazine. The Colombian superstar is wearing teeny tiny shorts and a t-shirt that she seems desperate to take off. In the cover photo, she has tied the shirt up to show some of her muscled stomach. And, of course, her famous ladies look like they are going to leap off the page and give you the motorboating of your lifetime. I’ve been in love with Sofia since I was a young lad and she appeared on my mom’s telenovelas. The amazing thing about Sofia is that she is as hot now as she was when she was in her twenties. That’s a rare feat. I forget sometimes that she’s in her forties.
As far as I’m concerned, Sofia may be the perfect woman. Like, the Platonic form of womanhood I learned about in my useless college philosophy classes.