Lucy Collett Can Have My Cake And Eat It Too

 

Honestly, if I were the last mine in the world drooling over Lucy Collett, I would be happy being a club of one. Every time I see this ginger curvy lady taking off her clothes, I want to learn how to play the harp and write her some kind of angelic striptease song I could pluck with just one hand. She is the bacon to my eggs, which makes no sense, unless you really really love bacon like I do.

Lucy likes to take her sextastic all-lady body show out into nature to let the birds and bees become more inspired to do what birds and bees do naturally. She’s got me remembering every single thing ever mention in my sixth grade sex-ed class. Including the part about how I would be flogged if I laughed again at the word ‘vagina’. It still makes me laugh, even as I turn over all my worldly resources in various attempts to attain it. Life is funny that way. Lucy Collett, you are my Rubenesque angel. I wish to adore you in so many heavenly ways. Enjoy.