Our friends in Merry Old England don’t eff around. When one of their soccer matches ends unfavorably, what do they do? They bust out some of their legendary football hooliganism, and punch faces in the face. And when you scam them out of their cashtacular by ‘selling’ them a PS3 you never deliver? Oh, the nerdly vengeance!
The Bristol Post brings us the story of Edd Joseph, who bought a PS3 for eighty ‘pounds’ –whatever they are– online. The plot twist? There is no freaking PS3. There was a direct bank transfer though, which ensured that his chances of a refund or catching the bastard were slim to eff all (said transfers being against the terms and conditions of Gumtree, where the classified ad was placed).
Which left ol’ Edd two options. He could shit a brick, and remain pissed for quite some time, or he could open a can of whoop-ass, Shakespeare style.
His not-crazy-at-all plan? To text the entirety of the ballachingly boring bard’s plays to the scammer. As The Post reports, “Edd discovered he could copy the words from the internet and paste them into a text message – without costing him a penny on his unlimited mobile phone package. He sends it as one text but his victim can only receive them in 160 character chunks – meaning the 37 works of Shakespeare will buzz through in 29,305 individual texts.”
Just how in holy hell he arrived at the idea, we can’t imagine, but that works out at about a week of constant cell-buzzing. So think on, scammers. Stop listing consoles on eBay and explaining in nigh-invisible small print that only the pictured Xbox box is included in the sale.