Scarlett Johansson Exudes The Sextastic for Dazed & Confused

I suppose these photos of the wicked hot Scarlett Johansson on the pages of Dazes & Confused magazine are somehow meant to inspire women to go out and buy lots of shizz. I can only speak for what it’s doing to this man, and I don’t feel like going out at all. Or buying another outfit for my closet. Mostly  I’m just imagining Scarlett in my boudoir in a tight black little thing while I explain to her how I am not only not offended by the concept of sympathy sex, I think it’s nearly saintly behavior.

When Scarlett kicks it into high gear, she really is one of the most sextastic women on this planet. I know there’s makeup and lighting and touchups and all that nonsense, but I wouldn’t kick Scarlett out of my bed for having bare morning face. Not when it was attached to her bare body. I’m a beggar, and, yet, I’m still choosy. I choose ScarJo. Enjoy.

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