Miranda Kerr Bares Tight Bare Midriff for Big Apple Pimping

I’m not sure what exactly Miranda Kerr was trying to promote in N.Y.C, I just kept staring at her stomach and wondering if reminding her that her ex-husband is now dating a French hottie would make her dig as deep as revenge sex with me. Truly, there’s no way she could hurt him worse unless he has a brother he no longer speaks to.

Now a more than eligible bachelorette, Miranda Kerr has the uncanny ability to make her sweet little knockers point toward magnetic North without so much as a hand adjustment. They are certainly the compass by which I measure my own happiness. Oh, to see how far up her tummy that tautness goes. I would endure many indignities to venture that particular path. Enjoy.

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