Hayden Panettiere Makes Marriage Look Kind of Fun, For One Night at Least

Oh, these bridal magazines, they are quite sinister. I could see how women peruse these periodicals and dream of nothing but their wedding day. As a man, I can see the delicious sprite Hayden Panettiere in a white gown and think to myself, hey, getting hitched looks like it could be fun. That’s really the dilemma right there. Not that I’m discouraging people from exchanging vows, it’s just always struck me as a big step that ought be taken with the careful consideration of say, decades worth of pondering, prior to actual commitment.

But, man, seeing Hayden in her little matrimonial get up, I can imagine a wedding night for the ages. A honeymoon that would barely be recovered from. And a marriage of anywhere from two days to nine months before the backstabbing and bickering forced us to issue a public relations statement about how we’re going to remain great friends. That is the dream. Enjoy.

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