Sandbox games are a dangerous thing. When we’re given liberty to do as we please in an expansive fictional world, all kinds of crazy-ass will result. Remember that morning you spent in Grand Theft Auto V, racing taco trucks over cliffs? Or hunting pedestrians with sticky bombs because they sassed you and/or had a shit beard?
Of course you do. In the game’s defense, though, it never played host to a marauding band of dudes with their dicks out, who were demanding similar levels of nekkid from passers-by. Fret not, though, Rust is here to fill that penis-shaped void in our gaming lives.
Meet the ‘Penis Brothers,’ the most disturbingly bizarre thing to hit video games since… well, nothing could possibly match this. As Kotaku reports, ‘…there’s a band of self-named “Penis Brothers” wandering around naked together and forcing players they meet to choose: take your pants off or they kill you.’ Acquiescing to their pervtastic demands sees you initiated into this merry band of wang fans, and so the group expands.
In short, it’s just a matter of time until nobody in Rust has any damn pants on. As world domination schemes go, this is one we could get on board with. Although they do seem to have missed a trick with that ‘dudes only’ policy.
Fans of swearing, general dumbassery and pixelated man-parts floppin’ in the wind will want to take a look above.