Taylor Swift is just an everyday gal whose long legs I’d like to place tightly around my own form and play Force the Prisoner to Spills His Secrets. She even does her own shopping at the grocery store. Though she doesn’t exactly fit in. I’m not sure if it’s the outfit or the lipstick or the bodyguard, but she looks different than the other ladies picking up milk and bread.
I’d certainly like to help her with her groceries. Many of my fondest childhood memories involve assisting ladies in the neighborhood in shorter skirts with their groceries. I was the most helpful kid you ever met for the women on my block. For all my efforts, I never got any real action, which sadly provided a window on my future as an adult. Lots of begging, little reward, just like being Taylor’s boyfriend. Oh, please let me be next. Enjoy.