Xbox One exclusive Titanfall’s closed alpha kicked off this week. If you haven’t joined in, here’s a brief synopsis: bullets are fired, grenades thrown, mechs stomp around, and general violent happy funtimes are had by all.
But what of those of us who haven’t been able to join the next-gen shooting fun? Our only recourse, apparently, is to whine like little bitches on the Internet. Remembering, of course, to shoehorn in as many cuss words as possible. Just to make the fact that we’re all kinds of pissed about the whole situation perfectly clear.
How do we know this is the way forward? Because we learned from the master. This week’s madness comes courtesy of Game Junkys, who accelerates from simply 'getting disappointing news’ to a full-on furious swearathon at an alarming pace. He wants his effing Titanfall alpha code. His effing brother got an effing code, and he deserves an effing code too. After all, all he’s ever done is be a loyal effing follower of EA’s piece-of-shit effing games. Apparently.
What a miscarriage of justice. Sometimes, entitled douchebags with questionable beards just can’t get a break. The whole business became a little more stupid-ass (because it wasn’t quite maxed out in stupid-ass beforehand) when he later declared on Youtube that he has since been invited to the alpha. So, all’s well that ends dickishly.
Fans of dumbasses, swearing and dumbasses swearing will be all over this one.