Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
What's not to like about skulls being crushed by mallets, hand to Herculean hand combat, and French model Gaia Weiss playing the horniest princess you've seen since that naughty knockoff of Jasmine from Aladdin hit 4chan.
You could do far worse than taking your lady to a Kellan Lutz beast mode movie. If she can't have the one she lusts, she can lust the one she's with. That'd be you, Joey. Opportunity is knocking.
The Legend of Hercules opens in theaters on January 10. If you miss it, you might just get the mallet.
(This post is sponsored by The Legend of Hercules, Opening in Theaters January 10, 2014)