Happy 18th Birthday Kendall Jenner (You Have Arrived)

Granted, the whole eighteen and barely legal milestone has been rendered moot by the likes of a Kardashian Klan that started pimping their daughter Kendall Jenner out by age twelve for the E! channel cameras. You can’t put the Drew Barrymore kid-booze back in the bottle as it were. Kendall experienced more life by the time she dropped out of high school a couple years ago than most people do before they’re thirty. And since then, well, damn, she’s hardly a young soul, though perhaps measured against her older variety experienced half sisters, she’s still a naif.

Nevertheless, on Sunday Kendall reaches the age of majority in California. Technically, this means her mom can start booking her for nekkid photoshoots, sex tapes, weekends with wealth foreign strangers, the entire Kardashian sales menu. I’m not expecting any of this to happen suddenly, but, eventually. I feel quite certain. For now, we wish Kendall a happy 18th birthday with a look back on some of her already impressive book of visual business. Happy Birthday, Kendall.

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