Do not adjust your eyeballs. This leering look at every square inch of Xbox One’s shiny undercarriage is indeed nigh identical to those that have come before. With one crucial distinction: the system is released next Friday. There’s no more time to dick around; Microsoft are busting out the big guns here.
How? With even more ball-bustingly enthusiastic buzzwords and/or phrase-ery than ever. You can’t argue with such claims as cinematic gameplay that rivals Hollywood. Not even if you knew what in holy hell that could possibly mean in this context.
Xbox One is ready when you are, we’re also assured. Does this mean that, upon arriving home, it will greet you with a soothing, “I know, you’ve had a shitty day. It’s cool, sit here on the couch with me a while and shoot someone in the delicate fleshy bits?” Does it? It had damn well better, or we’re all wasting our time here.