I've never really had a secretary before. I once had a man servant named Steven but it was short lived once I realized that Steven was borrowing my Chuck Taylor Converse All-Star to dress his oversized dog for animal costume shows. That was explicitly one of five deal breakers I gave Steven before he came into the position, so I had to let him go. If I were to take on another personal assistant, I'm tempted next time to go in the direction of Emma Glover as my very naughty secretary.
I'm not sure if she can type or file or manage and office, and, quite frankly, I don't care. Certainly, I will be investigated by the laborious folks at the Labor Department about my hiring practices, as I should be. But when the dust is settled, the appropriate bribes have been paid to make the government workers go away, all that will be left is myself and Emma Glover, taking dictation, straight from the dictation machine. Enjoy.