Highlights of Gamescom 2013: Delightfully Gory Arena Combat from ‘Ryse: Son of Rome’ (VIDEO)

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Roman legionaries never smiled. EVER.

If there’s one thing we all know about ancient Rome, it’s that those fat bastards had the most gut-busting banquets in history. Mice, snails, flamingo wangs, nothing was too weird when these guys got the munchies.

That, and the orgies.

But if there’s a third thing we know about them (which is stretching our shared brain cell to its intellectual limit), it’d be their penchant for good ol’ fashioned blood-leaking-all-over-the-kitchen-linoleum-which-hadn’t-been-invented-yet violence. Their gladiator battles in the arena were far more entertaining than any of today’s sporting events, as most of the participants left with a lion’s teethmarks in their ass and/or a limb or two less than they started with.

You can bet your balls, then, that upcoming Xbox One exclusive actioner Ryse: Son of Rome will bring us arena excitement of its own. So meet Gladiator mode. If you’ve ever wanted to stab a horde of unwashed barbarians while crotch-deep in a swamp –and it’s certainly a lifelong dream of ours– to fill up the crowd’s entertainment-o-meter, it’s your lucky day. Take a look above.

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