Amber Heard, Slit Skirt, My Heart

I’m not so mad that Amber Heard has gone back to men so much as I am that she has gone back to a man who is not me. I really do think she’s one of the world’s hottest women, and if I couldn’t have her, I really did like knowing she was sticking to the scissor kissing by night. Not because I’m jealous of other men, but mostly because the thought of Amber Heard having sweaty lesbionic joy was quite the evening’s fantasy starter.

Still, I could never remain angry at a sextastic woman. Especially not in a slit skirt, flashing her sweet legs, as Amber was last night on her way into Kimmel. Oh, man, that leg alone would be enough to go to war over. Knowing that women’s tongues, formerly, and someday again, have run their way up that gam, well, I need a wet towel and some oxygen now, thank you. Enjoy.

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