So there's this movie coming out called Breaking the Girls. We're not sure if this is all serious and whatnot as a film, but the trailer sure is full of yuks.
From what we can tell, it's Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train, but with sexy results. Nothing about it says anything positive about the state of independent film. It's like they think we'll just fork over our hard-earned cash to see two lithe and lascivious lesbians (played by Agnes Bruckner and Madeline Zima) writhe around, make-out and have sex while plotting a double murder. Shame on them. You've got to wow us with a plot here, guys...not with tired and hackneyed lines like:
Brooke is such a bitch...and she has the man you want.
Is that a stage direction or character instructions? It's an actual line?
Who says I'm into boys?
That's the stuff that dollar bills are made of.
Don't you wish that killing could just be legal?
She says what we're all thinking!
You have to kill parasites before they suck you dry.
Truer words have never been spoken. Can we get a look at the parasite in question, though, real quick, the one in the g-string...before you kill her?
If we swap murders, then no one will ever guess.
No one. Ever.
Suffice to say, we'll continue to thoroughly analyze this trailer. Several times. In private. For concentration purposes.