As the Anniversary of the Moon Landing Passes, Dead Space’s Isaac Clarke STILL Doesn’t Give a Crap

Yes indeed, July 21 1969 was the day that legendary duo Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the Moon on the Apollo 11 mission. An array of complicated scientific instruments were consulted, a great mass of dusty tedium was moonwalked across, and a giant leap for mankind was taken. The more decrepit souls among us surely remember the whoopin’ and a-hollerin’ that followed this spectacle.

The Soviets, meanwhile, were all kinds of pissed about the whole business, and were heard somewhere in the distance bitching “ah, but what about that dog we fired groin-first into actual goddamn space back in the Fifties? That was pretty damn cool, right there.” Perhaps they started the whole flag-flapping, recorded-in-a-Hollywood-basement wave of conspiracy theories that have blighted the great event ever since.

But there’s one thing we can safely state: there was a whole lot of absolutely shit all going on up there. As awe-inspiring as this feat undoubtedly was, there was no detritus from alien orgies or freakish upside down lunar homes to be found. The gallant astronauts brought home… a few rocks. You’d think that if you were desperate for rocks, for some unhinged reason, you could probably find a few out in the yard or something. You wouldn’t have to bust a bollock to find them, like these guys did. They’re just… there. Perhaps moon rocks are highly coveted for their remarkably rocky nature. They’re simply rockier than your average rock, and chicks dig that.

Dead Space 3

To hasten back to the topic at hand, though, there hasn’t been a less dramatic dramatic event in living memory (if you follow). As such, a little Dead Space is on hand to remind us just what a badass and/or face-chewingly terrifying place the universe can be.

Over the course of the trilogy, protagonist Isaac Clarke’s astro-travel has been marked by pants-fouling terror, Necromorph outbreaks and decapitate-y, dismember-y combat amundo (so much so that you could add a counter to the corner of the screen, ‘– seconds without a shitstorm,’ which would never break double figures). Apollo 11′s was marked by huge disappointment for the cheese industry and soundbites that had totally been rehearsed beforehand. There’s a clear winner here.

As a tribute to Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, then, here’s intergalactic badassery as our forefathers intended it:

Source of images: es.deadspace.wikia.

Comments