For those of you who aren’t old enough to remember, Duck Tales was a show about a billionaire duck and his three nephews who went around and solved mysteries. Also, they would swim around in gold coins. It sounds strange when you write it out, but everyone, including children, was on coke in the 80′s, so it made sense at the time.
At any rate, the fine folks at Fox’s ADHD have given Duck Tales the scientifically accurate treatment, just like they did for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So rather than watching Scrooge McDuck fight the evil Beagle Boys, we get to watch him rape Webby and then have his corpse eaten by Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Why? Because real ducks are rapist cannibals. Don’t take my word for it. That’s science talking, friend.
Watch the video. The song is still catchy, even with the disturbing lyrics.