A Picture of Sylvester Stallone’s Sylvester Stallone-themed Birthday Cake

BIRTHDAY CAAAAKE! YAAAAAAY!

Instead of Fudgie the Whale, he got Grandpa D*ck Arms.

Sylvester Stallone turned a bajillion-and-one years old over the weekend and that’s pretty entertaining in and of itself. What’s even more entertaining is that his brother Frank Stallone has added himself back into global dialogue by getting his elderly (legitimately elderly) brother a giant sheetcake decorated with the best of his onscreen moments.

Even better than that is the fact that he clearly had the cake-making wizards over at some Hollywood bakery add some penii to his lower arms (see lower left) and then tweeted about it. We can imagine his request:

Hey yeah, I want a Rocky cake for, y’know, the guy who played Rocky. And, hehe, can you um, hehe hehe, put some ugly mushrooms on his forearms?

Sir, do you want your giant purple-veined ugly mushrooms to be circumcised, or are you looking for something a little more subtle?

Yeah. We don’t know if that set up makes sense, but the punchline is always — you guessed it — Frank Stallone.

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