Will Howard Stern Finally Get to Remake ‘Porky’s’ After All These Years?

Obviously, The World Needs This

Remember the 1982 film Porky’s, the archetypal teen sex comedy about a group of teenage boys who vow to lose their collective virginities over summer break? (Yes, American Pie was basically a ripoff, only with a lot less nudity.)

Well, several years ago radio shock jock Howard Stern set about to do a remake of Porky’s, but ran into a wall when he discovered that the “rights” he had supposedly acquired actually still belonged to somebody else. Basically, the guy who made the original film, Melvin Simon, sold the rights to the Porky’s franchise to somebody, who then sold them to somebody else. Then that somebody else made a cheap Porky’s knockoff (it was called Pimpin’ Wee Wee—no joke) in order to keep the rights. But the previous Porky’s owner did not believe the new film actually met the minimum requirements for the new owners to maintain those rights, and the dispute went to court, delaying Stern’s Porky’s project indefinitely.

Now, however, THR is reporting that case has been settled. We don’t yet know who won and to whom the rights to make more Porky’s movies now belong. But obviously, we’re all hoping and praying that the rights now belong to Stern, and that he still wants to remake the raunchy classic. Because you know it would be ridiculously tasteless, and probably in 3D. And who wouldn’t want to see the famous glory hole scene in 3D?

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