There’s nothing quote so spine-melting as a grown man shrieking at you. What could possibly make the soul-shattering gravelly screaming of Gilbert Gottfried just that much more taint-crumbling? Him doing the ‘I am the One Who Knocks’ speech from Breaking Bad, of course.
We saw the original and we pumped our fists triumphantly as Bryan Cranston’s effectively and brilliantly merged himself with his Heisenberg alter-ego. It was the Anakin completely becomes Darth Vader moment that Star Wars prequels could never give us — but set in the real world. A dude who has fully embraced his evil. Then we saw Samuel L. Jackson do it and we were equally terrified and full of speculative wonder, ‘Woah, what would that show look like if Samuel L. had played Walt?’ And then, here comes Gottfried. And now we’re thinking, ‘They might as well have Justin Bieber sing the goddamn thing.’
Actually, no one wants that. Please don’t do that. We were kidding. Totally kidding. Seriously: Don’t.