Continuing our retrospective regarding all things somehow dubbed ‘sexy’ in the pre-internet era, we have… Peek-A-Boo Poker. Hold your nose and tie your nuts in a knot, because this is several simultaneous kinds of terrible.
In the early Nineties, the youthful, ardent oglers among us (which is to say, all of us) didn’t have access to the world wide web and its virtual porn bounty. Such sleaze-ery could only be gotten at questionable adult video stores with suspect stains on the floors, or on the top shelf of the local magazine emporium (complete with strategically-positioned ‘brown paper stuff’ to obscure the important ladyparts, lest innocent children see them and their eyeballs spontaneously combust).
By and large, then, our savior -well, not ours. This is just what a friend of a friend tells us about his more pervtacular pursuits back in the day, you understand- was Parnesian and their ilk, dispensing half-assed eroticism on the NES and beyond. These bastards were already responsible for Bubble Bath Babes, that bizarre Tetris with tits on ballache we saw (and raised a righteous middle finger at) previously. That wasn’t enough of a hideous crime against erections, seemingly, so here’s another.
1990‘s Peek-A-Boo Poker scored about as highly as Samantha Fox’s Strip Poker on the farce-o-meter, but without the benefit of piss-poor images of the renowned lesbian jugtacular juggernaut. As such, it sucked even more. Nevertheless, fans of tedium and/or terrible, wiener-wilting sexual puns and innuendo ‘They don’t call me pok-er Penny for nothing!’ will… well, still not want to subject themselves to the footage above.
But it’s there regardless, from nesguide. Peek-A-Boo Poker is notable for being ‘the most expensive retro video game in the world,’ (-pokerlistings) as copies are so hard to come by. In both senses of the term, presumably. Which means we must respect it, whether it’s a big barrel of badger’s balls or not (spoiler: it is). Full House Francine, Double Dealing Debbie and Pok-er Penny await!