Wow, this must be what those parents who have kids playing on opposing pro sports teams feel in those games where their offspring go head to head. Who to root for? You’re going to have to turn your back on one of your favorites at some point, watch them lower the head into their hands, and still all the while take joy in the triumph of your winning progeny. Precisely why I intend to have athletically untalented children. I couldn’t bear it.
But equally hard for me is a Page 3 Battle of the Boobtastic between two of my absolutely all-time darlings. The alt-brunette supreme queen Mellisa Clarke, and Holly Peers, whose amazing funbags I feel like I’ve imagined fondling since before my balls dropped. I can not make a choice. And, luckily, I don’t have to. That burden falls on you. So, as difficult as it is, I ask you, who’s ta-ta’s reign supreme?