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Madonna's Sexy Fish For Sale

Can a sculpture be a pervert? I think so. At least a giant bronze fish that once had a run in with Madonna seems to be a bit on the sleazy side. You may recall, if you are old like me, that Madonna used to be really hot. This was before the Kabbalah turned her slowly into Gollum. In 1992 she published a book called SEX, which mostly involved her in various naked scenarios. She even got it on with Vanilla Ice for "art". One of these pics involved a large bronze fish. Now that same fish that once touched Madonna's cooter is for sale on Ebay for $9500. The worst part is the product description which is "written" by the fish. He states,

"I am Otto, the great bronze fish...I am the fish that had a very special encounter with Madonna in 1992 when she posed naked on me for a photo in her famous SEX book. My interlude with Madonna involved intimate contact that culminated with the extraordinarily artful photo.

OK, pretty creepy. But then it gets worse as he offers himself as a venue for your own debaucheries:

It's been over 21 years, but I still savor the memory of Madonna's naked body, and I am definitely better for the experience. Trust me, Madonna was superfine in her prime and now you can amuse and delight yourself and your friends by re-creating the iconic pose that captured her so beautifully. You will be the auteur as I'm ready and primed for new adventures! Everyone loves posing on me, and I am proud to display the strength of my spouting water stream."

I can take a lot of things but I draw the line at sexually predatory sculpture. It just goes to show the lethal power of Madonna's vagina. She ruined Sean Penn, she tainted the name of Jewish mysticism with her wankery, and now she can apparently animate horny statues like fishy Pygmalion brought to life by her vagina wizard. Just say no to Madonna's p#$sy power.

Tagged in: madonna, humor

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