Science Says Porn Isn’t Bad For You. I Disagree.

Porn isn’t bad for your sexual health, says science. In the past researchers drew a correlation between regular porn viewing and increased violence towards women, problems in your real life sex life, and generally being a douche. But The University of Copenhagen’s Dr. Hald says that isn’t necessarily true. Of course a Dutch dude would say that. They have legalized prostitution and I’m pretty sure half their porn involves someone pooping on someone else. Hald says that although porn may lead to riskier adventurous sex than the old 2 minute hump on a Wednesday that most of us enjoy, that doesn’t mean that the porn is the only factor in encouraging those behaviors. Maybe, but porn definitely can mess up your sex life.

When you are a young man fapping until you develop carpal tunnel syndrome, your only external stimulus is pornography. This leads to your developing an unrealistic idea of what sex is like. I remember the first time I touched a boob I grabbed it hard like and kneaded it like they do in the booby flicks. Turns out that can really hurt and most women don’t like that. Not to mention that it is exploitative and often is fueled by drug addiction and the sex trade. Also, those positions are impossible and unnecessary. Remember, the majority of those awkward moves are so that the camera has a clear unobstructed shot of genital penetration. Unless you have a dude filming an extreme closeup of your balls, you could seriously pull a groin muscle attempting those positions.  Just remember that porn is a fantasy and should only bleed into real life if you’ve been doing some yoga and the girl is into it. It is ungentlemanly to suggest a threesome with your buddy Steve if the lady doesn’t want to be double stuffed like an Oreo.

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