Bald badass Bruce Willis, as he himself would attest, is a little middle-aged spread-ier than he was in 1988 upon Die Hard’s release (who isn’t?). Still, his alter-ego John McClane remains the dudeliest dude ever to be named after a range of frozen foodstuffs. For this, and for bestowing on us some of the most demented and/or awesome set pieces in action movie history, we salute him.
Among the Die Hard franchise’s proud legacy of exploding aircraft, guys crawling through air ducts in shit-stained vests and copious quantities of brandishing guns about while swearing, one phrase deftly summarizes why all men must love these movies (not in any literal sense, as it actually means nothing at all. Ever. But we shan’t be pernickety there). It’s biologically impossible not to. REAL SCIENCE tells us this.
Behold the John McClane mantra above, in wondrous spanning-every-movie-with-musical-accompaniment form.