Maria Menounos Tight Green Dress for St. Patrick’s Day Asstastic Fapitation

You know Maria Menounos could wear a burqa wrapped in a winter jacket, encased in a mummy’s rotting bandages and we’d still find the incredibly irresistible urge to make love to her entire body, right down to the little toe (oh, the passion we would release thereabouts). But when Maria shimmies into one of her tight dresses on the set of Extra, well, the mind swirls with happy thoughts almost impossible to contain. Our cups runneth over.

Now, I know the tradition is that wearing green keeps you safe from the St. Patrick’s Day pinches of teasing schoolboys and lascivious older men, but I believe if St. Patrick were alive today, even he would be tempted to do a little slap and tickle on Maria’s emerald covered asstastic. Enjoy.

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