You know why America is awesome? Because our founding fathers were badass. Mount Vernon, George Washington’s world famous crib, is selling a rye whiskey based on gorgeous George’s own recipe. That’s right, the father of our country distilled his own whiskey. Really strong whiskey. It costs $95 a bottle but isn’t it worth it to taste America’s greatest hero’s moonshine? We all know that Sam Adams was a brewer and John Hancock was a pirate but did you know that Thomas Jefferson invented mac and cheese as we know it and brought ice cream and French wine to America? Did you know that Ben Franklin liked to attend orgies in England? Well they did. I’m going to save up all my gold crowns so I can taste the sweet liquor that forged our great nation.
Sure, they weren’t perfect. Washington had bad dental hyigene, John Adams was a manic depressive, and Thomas Jefferson liked to bang his slaves. OK, in general the whole slave thing was pretty crappy. But still. I’d take the founding father challenge with most any country in general badassery.