Mm egotastic skin leftgutter fri f813ae8416c0aa4320e5167252f564d11b10cf834be65fce288d3f90359dd717B10201932
Mm egotastic skin rightgutter fri 1450c67e39fdae855e8f4d7d40891a7a2730b148c3920ceb0b396727d88934b1B10201932

Get Ye Olde Sh$tfaced With George Washington's Whiskey

You know why America is awesome? Because our founding fathers were badass. Mount Vernon, George Washington's world famous crib, is selling a rye whiskey based on gorgeous George's own recipe. That's right, the father of our country distilled his own whiskey. Really strong whiskey. It costs $95 a bottle but isn't it worth it to taste America's greatest hero's moonshine? We all know that Sam Adams was a brewer and John Hancock was a pirate but did you know that Thomas Jefferson invented mac and cheese as we know it and brought ice cream and French wine to America? Did you know that Ben Franklin liked to attend orgies in England? Well they did. I'm going to save up all my gold crowns so I can taste the sweet liquor that forged our great nation.

Sure, they weren't perfect. Washington had bad dental hyigene, John Adams was a manic depressive, and Thomas Jefferson liked to bang his slaves. OK, in general the whole slave thing was pretty crappy. But still. I'd take the founding father challenge with most any country in general badassery.

Tagged in: Humor


Around the Web