George V. Hudson: The A-Hole That Invented Daylight Savings Time

Sunday was the most evil day on the calendar: The beginning of Daylight Savings Time. You just lost an hour of sleep. We Americans on average work more hours and sleep less than any modern Western country, without DST. So, the loss of an hour is a big deal. Most people aren’t crazy about this practice but we all have to do it. What can we do? Since humans had the ability to tell time, we judged a day depending on when it was dark and when it was light. Pretty simple, really. Can you see what you’re doing? No? Then it’s night time. Dogs know this. Now, it’s not exact of course. It gets darker earlier in winter here in New York where I live now than in Texas where I grew up. So, what’s wrong with measuring the day in standard time that we use the rest of the year? Who came up with this horrible day? A d-bag by the name of George Vernon Hudson.

The idea was first proposed by founding father and poon hound Ben Franklin. When Ben was living in France, he suggested people voluntarily get up earlier to save on candles, which were pricey. More time for drinking and treating your gout by banging French chicks. But it was George Vernon Hudson that proposed modern DST in 1859. You’ll often hear that it is in place to conserve energy spent on lighting, AC, and all the other gadgets we use. But Hudson advocated the practice in his native New Zealand for purely selfish reasons. He liked to collect butterflies during daylight hours, which was cut into by his day job’s work schedule. Butterflies. He also didn’t like that he had to cut his golf game short because the courses closed while it was still light outside. That’s why he said we should sacrifice and hour of sleep. What a jerk. Now most places in the West practice DST and all of the United States except for Arizona, (though the indigenous Navajo in Arizona do observe it). Most of Africa, Asia, and South America do not make you wake up earlier either. I really like my sleep. I wonder if I can get a decent cheeseburger in Uruguay?

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