We all know that Pope Benedict the XVI stepped down last week as pontiff of the Catholic Church. Most people figured that it was because he was an old fart that couldn’t hack it anymore. But recent rumors have surfaced that maybe Benny just wanted to spend some time with his boyfriend. Yeah, like bite the pillow kind of boyfriend. His personal “secretary” Georg Gaenswein is going to continue to live with Benedict in the Vatican while serving the new pope. Um, I’m pretty sure the Church can afford to pay a nurse or something to take care of Benedict. They probably just want to open up a bed and breakfast in St. Peter’s Square.
I don’t care if the pope is gay. At least he isn’t diddling altar boys…covering up for people who were diddling altar boys, yes, but not doing it himself. The funny part is everyone’s shocked reaction to the idea that the pope might be gay. Please, people, let’s look at the facts: 1) You get to wear jeweled capes that even Liberace would say are over the top. 2) You get your own special red custom Italian shoes that only you can wear. That way you aren’t embarrassed when someone else shows up with a matching pair at a cocktail party. 3) You get to live with hundreds of men. How wouldn’t that appeal? What happens at St. Peter’s stays in St. Peter’s.