Most people would agree that the worst Jaws movie is Jaws 4: The Revenge. Remember that little crap gem? It’s the one in which the shark follows chief Brody’s widow to Jamaica to try and kill her. It is definitely the worst in the actual Jaws series but there is another even more terrible “Jaws”. I’m talking of the 1995 Italian made for TV movie Cruel Jaws also known as Jaws 5. I’ve told you before about foreign film companies blatantly stealing music and footage from American blockbusters for their crappy rip-offs. But usually these were made in the 70′s when everyone was too high on ‘ludes to lawyer up. But pulling this kind of stuff in ’95 took some balls, especially as Steven Spielberg will sue your ass over anything. Still, if they hadn’t have gone ahead and thrown copyright law out of the window we wouldn’t have Cruel Jaws. Yay?
Cruel Jaws follows a similar, (ie. almost identical), plot as the original Jaws – only stupider. Instead of being a mysterious predator that embodies the battle between man and nature, the shark in this movie is a mutated weapon created by the Navy. He starts feeding on the local residents of Hampton Bay, (the place that made my ceiling fan?), right before the big regatta race. The mafia is somehow involved in the cover-up to protect the lucrative race from being cancelled and…it doesn’t matter. The local sheriff, a scientist, and the owner of the local Sea World-type park (?) head out to kill the shark. The filmmakers gleefully take actual footage of sharks as well as scenes from the Jaws movies and splice it into their schlockfest. The shark itself looks really bad. Like, 10 times worse than the Jaws shark, which let’s face it, didn’t look that great either. It’s as if the same people who made the animatronics for Chuck E Cheese’s Rock-A-Fire Explosion band made a shark. If all that isn’t enough, there are a bunch of Italians in it pretending to be Americans. Watch the entire thing here.