Are the Ego-Readers Mantastic Enough for the Horrors of Dead Space 3‘s Fresh ‘Awakened’ DLC? (VIDEO)

Dead Space DLC Header
Isaac Clarke's streak of bad, bad, BAD luck continues.

Yes, yes they are. (Especially the lady-lusting ladies among you.) You hardly need to be a renegade badass from the dark, dingy and dank depths of the devil’s dick to qualify, after all. Largely because, lest we forget, Dead Space 3 was about as ‘terrifying’ as a one-legged kitten with a limp and a flowery pink bow on its scrote.

Dead Space 3: Awakened, released this week, has pledged to restore some semblance of horror to proceedings. Take a look at the above clip, change your now-soiled tighty-whities accordingly, and read on for more info-nuggets.

Awakened is a stand-alone, cooperative episode, again casting us as Isaac Clarke -his new stubbletacular space beard supplied as standard- and (optionally) a second player as newcomer Sergeant Carver. So as not to propel spoilers into anybody’s despairing faces, suffice it to say that a familiar spacecraft -not the Ishimura from the first iteration, alas- is the setting. It is now home to marauding Unitologists, fanatics that have been gorging themselves at the trough of crazy for far too long. Their grand plan to bolster the success of the Necromorph outbreak consists of sewing sharp, sharp bits of spiky dead things onto other dead things.

Dead Space DLC Screenshot

In the futuristic world of Dead Space, barbers take a rather melodramatic approach to their work. Image source: www.gamingbolt.com

Beyond a new type of assailant, this DLC expands upon the game’s celebrated (well, modestly. If you squint a little, or have cataracts/eyesight comparable to Mr. Magoo’s) weapon customization system with an additional crop of parts and circuits to implement. Purportedly an “ultra-creepy” (-oxm.co.uk) venture back into the atmosphere you could cut with a damn fork and eat with a wedge of Brie and a fine bottle of overpriced wine, if you’re into pompous wankery like that realm of the original Dead Space and its sequel, this seems an essential purchase for franchise fanatics. Perhaps only for such people (do you have a tattoo of a Necromorph pulling a GRRRR face on your ass? That’s you), if its much-maligned two hour length and premium price are any judge.

Still, as Visceral Games’ Vice President has proclaimed, “Awakened… is some of the most creative and unsettling content the team has ever created — it’s really going to test gamers’ psyche… We can’t wait to see who is brave enough to venture further into the horrors that lie within Awakened.” (-gamingbolt.com) You can see if it has the balls to warrant such wang-waving PR bullshittery on your console of choice now.

Header image source: desconsolados.

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