You Can Love Manatees, Just Don’t ‘Love’ Manatees

Sir, Step Away From The Manatee

A man in Florida, (of course), was arrested after he posted a bunch of pictures of himself on Facebook huggin’ and kissin’ on a manatee. Someone who saw the disturbing pictures of man on sea cow love alerted Florida’s wildlife conservation department. Manatees are endangered species because they have the misfortune of being indigenous to rivers and swamps filled with Florida yokels with boats. Florida Manatee Sanctuary Act prohibits molesting, harassing or disturbing manatees. I’m not really sure what goes on in Florida. Why is it that every time you hear about a weird story like this it’s always in Florida? Whenever I hear that some woman shot her baby daddy because he bought the wrong flavor of MD 20/20 I just assume it is in Florida? Surely America has many more states full of embarrassing hillbillies. I guess as the manatee is indigenous to the penis shaped state so is the insane rednecks.

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