Woman OD’s On Coke…Coca-Cola

Coke kills. No, not the snorting lines off a hobo’s ass kind of coke, but Coca-Cola. A woman named Natasha Harris from New Zealand died from a heart attack after years of hitting the brown fizzy stuff. The mother of 8, (she’s got to do something with that caffeine rush), drank up to 2.8 gallons of Coca-Cola Classic every friggin’ day. That’s 10.5, or 5 of those big 2 liter bottles, per diem. That’s 4,200 calories before she eats a single thing. The coroner said the amount of sugar and caffeine in her system hit critical mass. I don’t know what they put in Coke down in New Zealand but I don’t like anything 2.8 gallons worth. Maybe they add some of that Hobbit pipeweed that all the kids in Middle-Earth are smoking. She also had to be obese. No one puts away that much soda without acquiring a substantial ass. Still, you have to admire her dedication. Many people focus their lives to making money, feeding the needy, or making jokes on a website, but Natasha dedicated her life to drinking ridiculous amounts of Coke. Good on ya, mate.

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