Sudden Death! The Ten Most Balls-to-the-Wall Film Shootouts

My girlfriend is really into that whole romantic-comedy genre. One more movie about a bridesmaid who’s never the bride and I’m going to swallow a bullet. But now that my Friday nights are no longer about going out and having a good time but staying in and dispensing tissues while my girlfriend cries on my arm because Katherine Heigl realizes too late that her best friend is actually her soulmate, I’ve created a new fun game. I just close my eyes when someone’s making a melodramatic speech about love and imagine that John Woo was suddenly brought in as director. Cue the doves floating in front of the screen shot and next thing you know everyone’s drawing steel-plated pistols and going after each other like a bad spaghetti western.

It helps. But fortunately we have films that already provide this for us. And maybe if I behave myself during dinner with her parents tonight, my girlfriend will actually let me pop one of these movies in to watch one of the Ten Most Ball-to-the-Wall Film Shootouts. (or maybe I’ll just bait her into a food coma with copious amounts of turkey and heavy gravy instead. Either or)

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