Next year, I really hope Victoria’s Secret accepts my internship application for Sand Remover for all their St. Bart’s bikini shoots in advance of the Spring bikini season, because I believe I would be the perfect person to remove the grains of sand stuck to the shimmering oil applied to each of the models bikini bodies during their photo turns. Granted, I might linger for extended sessions in certain areas of the body, plucking granules of sand ever so precisely, but, that’s what separates the Sand Remover Craftsman from merely the dude who dusts off bodies with a beach towel. I’m up for the job.
And I’d like to have Erin Heatherton as my first assignment. Separating sand from hot freckles on the sextastic body of this fair-haired beauty, taking another turn before the cameras for yet another ridiculously hot bikini photoshoot, yeah, that’d be a labor of lust. Erin Heatherton would never feel cleaner, or, you know, dirtier, when I’m done flicking her body clean. Enjoy.