When You Sleep With Your Students You’re Guaranteed Two Things: Parole and an Egotastic! After School Special Award

Oh Cara Dickey, you blond didactic predator. Convicted in 2010, the  32-year-old mother of three and former-Buffalo social studies teacher served two years for getting in the sack with her 14-year-old student after getting him nice and drunk first. Oh, she also entered into a suicide pact with the young man. Currently on parole, Ms. Dickey is prohibited from being in the presence of a minor without an authorized waiver and is required to wear a monitoring device on her ankle. Which would explain why the day after being questioned by her parole officer about being seen in the presence of a minor, she cut the ankle bracelet off and skipped town, calling up a local Buffalo news outlet to let them know she won’t be turning herself in.

The unfortunately named Dickey told the station that the minor-in-question was her girlfriend’s younger brother (oh, right, I forgot to say she’s now a lesbian) and there was nothing salacious involved, just a holiday gathering to celebrate Christmas together. While we wait to see whether the story ends in a dramatic Thelma & Louise-style showdown with Harvey Keitel or if it’s just an anticlimactic arrest and imprisonment for countless parole violations, be sure to check out all the other After School Special Award Winners, where we recognize all those female teachers who just couldn’t follow the Golden Rule and keep their hands, feet and objects to themselves when it came to their students.

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